All up in my feelings people…and some of them have not been so good. I am a true extrovert. I love talking and engaging with people, learning about them, over-sharing, digging. When I’m quiet it means two things (1) I am sleeping or in some form of exhaustion or (2) I’m sad, down and out, anxious…overwhelmed. I am thankful because I am generally just happy. I am positive, see the good, excited, energetic, talkative, loving life, moving forward . . . but then sometimes, for no particular reason, or maybe all the reasons at once, my battery is out. I will wake up and feel gloomy. I have moments of light and clarity but those moments are easily dimmed. This last time, it really wore on me. It lasted more than the usual bad few days or long week…it was more like 6 weeks of unexplained sadness. After thinking about it, I finally put my finger on some of the triggers…
(1) Vacation was over.
(2) School was starting . . . summer was over.
(3) I missed my little brother, it hit me just like a ton of bricks that while he remains a call away, NY is a lot further than 34th Street.
(4) My car broke down…in 3 increments…resulting in repairs almost reaching $2,000 which we were not anticipating.
(5) I went from completing a Whole 30 to eating and drinking like you do . . . on vacation . . .
(6) Pressure from work.
(7) Sleep regression with Nicklaus.
(8) September 11th
(9) National News . . .
(10) The light in the kitchen going out (yes really…this was so annoying and was not a simple fix).
1st world problems? Sure I will take that…but it was one thing after another and my spirit was just beat up. I was doing all the stuff I usually do to cheer myself up. I was talking with my husband and FaceTiming my siblings and BFF… praying, going to Mass, listening to good music, playing with my kids, buying overpriced coffee and paying for the car behind me, reading uplifting books…nothing was clicking.
I was not eating balanced and I was drinking too much alcohol, that’s for sure. I am certain this did not help.
It took an unexpected Team Beachbody commission check in my account on a Thursday morning (September 15th to be exact) & somehow my happy light came on! I cannot really explain why…but from that Thursday morning, I was back. I’m writing all of this because I tend to overshare the good and quiet down when things aren’t going my way. In my effort to lift others up, I never want to pretend my life is somehow perfect & I have everything together. I don’t. I am thankful that I have all I need and more wants than I deserve…and a support system of family and friends who are all amazing…but even still, sometimes I have to reset and recharge.
(1) an emotional state or reaction.
(2) a belief, especially a vague or irrational one.
Have them, don’t let them consume you.
Never look around and compare your every day to someone’s highlight reel…people tend to show and share what they want you to see. We all have a battle or 2 or 99…let’s stop competing and support one another. I promise the ride is so much better this way.
I am 8 days into the Beachbody Country Heat program with 22 to go, before I start another goal. Find something that sets your soul on fire & never let go. Inspiring others does this for me. I pray you are encouraged today – this too shall pass!
Selfie – this last Sunday after Mass – which was perfect.